Обещанный перл :)

Paul Reiser "Babyhood"
"...Once you go ahead and buy every piece of merchandise with the word "baby" in the name, you still have another problem: How do you get all this stuff home? The answer, of course: Get rid of your car and find yourself a big ugly four-wheel-drive/trucky/sport utility /"just-throw-everything-in-the-back" vehicle. Suddenly you under-stand those behemoth station wagons your parents had. But because we are, as a group, so very much more clever, we now surround ourselves instead in hulking tanks—uglier by far than anything we sat in the back of when we were five. But this time they have much cooler names. Names reeking of adventure: Explorer, Expedition, Outback, Range Rover, Land Cruiser, Four Runner, Trooper, Pathfinder . . . Where do we think we're going? We're picking up diapers and dropping off a video. We're not bagging a cheetah and lugging it across Kenya. And when you outgrow these cars, you next find your-self in a mini-van, the last stop down on the "I used to be cooler than this" slide. Because in a jeep, you can at least still pretend to be cool. When you're at a stoplight and an attractive woman pulls up alongside you, you can still smile and convince yourself, "Maybe she thinks I'm enor-
mously rugged, and the car is loaded up with equipment for that very dangerous geological expedition." But in a mini-van, you're fooling no one. You're on
your way to Gymboree, the side compartments are stuffed with diaper wipes, and the interior is all sticky with apple juice.
You know what? You're not Indiana Jones; you're a dad."